"Maybe this Christmas will mean something more...maybe this year love will appear deeper than ever before...maybe this Christmas..." - Maybe this Christmas by Ron Sexsmith

So I was sitting at my grandparent's late Christmas night checking my email on my phone when I came across a new blog by Jamie, the founder of To Write Love on Her Arms. Find it here:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=61976377&blogID=458982023&Mytoken=D3A664F6-4C5C-46D2-AFCBD1E8180136EE282887465
His words took guts. And a quote that stood out to me the most was this one:
"In this life, we get to make a lot of choices. We don't get to choose the things that break or haunt or hurt us, but maybe we get to choose how we respond and what we choose to believe in the face of those things. We get to choose to go alone or to let people in. We choose our response to pain."
How very true. We can either lay down and let life run us over, let self pity seep into our bones and never move or we can take a stand and choose to move. To change. Maybe circumstances can't be changed, but our outlook can be changed. We're all part of a bigger story. You can see yourself as a big nobody in this story, or give yourself away to others and love and grow and be exactly who you were meant to be in this bigger story.
It's probably no big secret that I'm a fan of the band Switchfoot and if I had to pick one person that has inspired me the most and changed my life the most besides Christ, it would be Jon Foreman, the lead singer of Switchfoot. His words have moved me to change. To grow and to love. He said this in a recent blog:
"This is the ironic twist- in caring for others you will become yourself. As you give yourself away you become richer, stronger. My example is the one who gave himself to death so that I might live. Our lives are too short to ignore the pain. It would be a lie to run away."

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On the Just One forefront, I've not made much progress on part 15 as every time I enter the game and go into a certain house it goes incredibly slow. I'll be boosting up my RAM here soon and I'm hoping that will help. I'm not sure what to think about the Sims 3. As much as I'm looking forward to playing it and seeing what changes there are, what a pain to wait for all the custom content and hacks to be developed. Right now there is SO much offered for the Sims 2. I wonder will everyone stop playing the Sims 2 and only make movies with the Sims 3? Are Sims 3 movies going to make Sims 2 movies look like crap? Things to think about, haha!

I also saw today that PamComplex has started a Sim Awards and there are several different categories for sim movies/series out there. The site is here:
http://simawards.wordpress.com/

I have to admit that I don't keep up with a lot of the series and movies out there unless I just happen to come across them on youtube, but I am constantly amazed at the ideas and originality others create through machinima. I applaud Pam for taking the time to set up an award type system to help other directors receive recognition. I know it's appreciated within the community.

Oh, and before I forget, thanks for all the great comments and feedback I received on Part 14! I'm really glad others were touched by it. It made all the time and work totally worth it. I've got most of part 15 planned out, but is there anything anyone wants to see happen? I'm open to suggestions :)

The story just won't end!

I've only had time to work on Just One in bits and pieces; that's why it's taken so long and I do apologize for the lag, BUT as I worked on it this weekend, I realized there was no way I could fit all I wanted to in part 14 and let it be the epilogue. So I've decided part 14 will not be the last part, but instead another part entitled "A Good Fight". Part 15 will be the epilogue. Part 14 is very, very close to being done and up on youtube. I've got just a few things to finish up. Maybe it will be up tonight or tomorrow.

It's kind of funny to me becuase I've always had this problem. I just can't end a story. When I write stories, they go on and on. Actually when I'm writing anything, I have a hard time making it short and sweet. It's just not in my character make up. So I guess it makes sense I couldn't make part 14 be the epilogue and wrap the story up. I have to have at least two more parts, haha.

So anyways, I'm looking forward to hearing what you think on part 14. There's no way I would have gotten so far as I have without all the encouragement I recieve. It really astounds me. And I'm so glad the story has touched others in the way I intended it to.

When I finish with the series I plan to put the characters on my website or the exchange, post pics for others to download, try to do some backgrounds for download, and maybe post some deleted scenes.

:)

Give yourself away...

Daisy, give yourself away,
Look up at the rain
The beautiful display,
of power and surrender
Giving us today
when she gives herself away

Rain, another rainy day,
It comes up from the ocean ,
To give herself away
She comes down easy
on rich and debt the same
when she gives herself away,

Let it go, daisy let it go
Open up your fist
this fallen world
Doesn't hold your interest,
it doesn't hold your soul
Daisy let it go

Pain, give yourself a name,
Call yourself contrition, avarice or shame
Giving isn't easy,
And neither is the rain,
and she gives herself away

Daisy, why another day?
Why another sunrise?
Who will take the blame,
For all redemptive motion
And every rainy day
He gives himself away

Let it go, Daisy let it go,
Let it go...

- Switchfoot's "Daisy"

This song could be one of those for the theme songs for my life. Thought I'd share my thoughts on it.

"Daisy" can come off at the surface as just a song about a girl, but that's defintely not what is intended here. WE are Daisy. We want to hold onto the world and our vices, sometimes even at our own destruction. The song reminds me of Jon Foreman's "Learning How to Die"; life is about giving ourselves away and becoming broken before we can start to truly live. There is One that gave everything away for you and for me and I love how throughout this song it's a quiet conviction for Daisy to let it go and then finally a strong, piercing make-or-break demand to let it go.

We've got to let it go. Maybe it's a grudge, hate, or burden you've been carrying around for only you know how long. Nothing is gained by worrying. I need to be reminded of this so very often. I also need to constantly tell myself that situations are 10 percent what really happens and 90 percent how you react.

I've found true joy is in giving yourself away to others and giving myself up to the One who loves me just the way I am. It can be so hard to give yourself away becuase it's human nature to be selfish. But it's only when we give ourselves away that we truly live.

I know this doesn't have anything to do with Just One, but I felt compelled to write these thoughts here. Maybe somebody needs to hear them. Maybe somebody needs to hear the song. Maybe Somebody wants a chance inside your heart.

Change is a long road filled with bumps and misdirections that winds and turns, but the end is worth the pain; worth the hardship. It's defintely possible. Seek truth.

And P.S. Part 14 will be here soon. :)

So a small update from me...

I've been working pretty steadily these past couple days on part 14. I've got a couple big things to scene and then it should be out there for everyone to view. I recently purchased Bon Voyage and hesitated about installing it before finishing Just One. I couldn't wait though and I ended up putting it on my computer this past weekend. So far, I've had...some problems. I'm not sure if it's hacks conflicting or what, but I'm still working on it. It did make me figure out how to package a sim. I didn't want to lose my characters in case my computer would crash so I researched it and learned through SimPE. It's actually incredibly simple. Once the series is over I'll upload those characters to the exchange or my website. I'll also try to upload the houses. I hope it goes without saying that I don't want someone to take these characters and start stealing all my work and claim it as their own, but...I guess people sometimes turn off their moral code.

I'm anxious to start working on something new. I've got a couple ideas floating around my head. One involves an arranged marriage, another is an adaptation of one of my favorite books, another still involves the song "The Shadow Proves the Sunshine", furthermore I've thought about doing the story of Julian, Mitch's mother. Who knows where I'll end up going. The one I've collected the most writing and music for is a story about an arranged marriage, but it's not fully developed in my mind.

I also started reading Twlight for the first time this past weekend. I finally feel like I'm in the loop. I'm looking forward to the movie and how they'll handle certain scenes.

Anyways, that's all from me for now. Is anyone a fan of Arrested Development? I watched the episode of Buster with a hook for a hand today and his line, "I'm a monster!!" has kept me laughing for a while now.

Looking forward to hearing what you guys think of part 14 when it comes out. :)

Just a little mention

Hey everyone! I'm working hard at the Epilogue; it should be here soon! I just got an iPhone and the coolest thing was when I got to watch Just One on my phone! :)

Anyways, I mentioned in my last blog about the organization To Write Love on Her Arms. I support organizations such as this because I believe the people behind the name are standing up and fighting for something beyond themselves. Their goals is others. Another such organization I support is JesusBranded at www.jesusbranded.com They make AMAZING clothes. I have a shirt that I love because it's unique and the message on the shirt goes beyond just simple words. As my favorite song writer has said, I'd rather purchase goods that have some character; a story. JesusBranded creates clothing with character and stories. Check 'em out if you like your purchased goods the same way :)

Oh, Epilogue, you're next.

I'm glad I got so much done in Just One over the summer. I've got a little time left before I start school and I hope to get the Epilogue done as well, which will be bittersweet for me. Just One has been a great journey. I've said it before, but it couldn't be more true that machinima is a creative outlet for me and Just One was a story I couldn't sit down and complete in terms of writing. But with machinima, the story came out itself through random moments of inspiration, through music and through the encouragement of others. Someday I hope to write the story out completely and see if it turns into a book. It's what the story was intended for.
I'm defintely not the best at moviemaking, but I think I've gotten a little better over time. It still amazes me to see how far other directors can take The Sims and create something really beautiful.
Thanks to everyone a million times over that leave me such nice things. It's really incredibly appreciated. I can only hope that something of mine can be used to help, to inspire...I recieved a message today that made it all completely worthwhile. Even if I had only this one viewer, all the time, all the work was worth it. And the amazing thing to me is that I've gotten to feel like my effort was worth it a few times...
I hope to do something else after Just One is done. I've got a couple ideas, but one that seems the most developed on paper and in my mind is a story about an arranged marriage. But I'm sure how much time I'll have to develop it through moviemaking.

Don't ever stop believing that love isn't worth it. That safeguarding and locking yourself up is the answer to never feeling pain. There is beauty in pain. Pain can be a pure, slow burn when it's changing and refining you for the better. But also never forget that love is a fight. It takes effort and constant work.

Anyways, in part 13 Rosalie is wearing a To Write Love On Her Arms shirt, which I was given by an awesome sims 2 creator, and if you're not familiar with the organization, it's worth checking out. Their site is twloha.com or myspace.com/twloha. The person who started the organization, Jamie, is one amazing guy. Take a look at his blogs and you'll come away inspired. The organization was started because of a girl, Renee, and she has just released a book, her own story, Purpose for the Pain, and if you get the opportunity defintely check that out as well. I'm sure everyone can relate to the pain she felt. The best thing is the end; the hope.

I'll be working on the epilogue these coming days and if anyone has any music recommendations, I'd love to hear them. Looking foward to hearing what everyone thinks of part 13 :)

Part Twelve is up with Part Thirteen on deck!

I was kind of disappointed in myself with part 11 for a couple various reasons, but I have to admit that I think part 12 turned out really well. When I began writing the story of "Just One", I didn't have a certain ending in mind. I wasn't sure where it was going to go. Machinima has been a great way for me to write a story I otherwise would have laid aside. I've surprised myself with where it's gone. I'm very thankful for the opportunity to have an outlet like machinima as well as others who encourage me to keep going.
Sadly, Just One is almost over. If I can fit all I want to in part 13 then I'm thinking part 14 will be an epilogue of sorts and that will be it. As of right now, I don't plan on making a second season or doing a story of Mynah. But I do have a couple ideas up my sleeve.
So with part 12 I've recieved some comments that have really flattered me and also made me smile. I've also recieved a lot concerning a certain character's hair. What can I say? It was time for him to grow up and I have to admit, as dorky as this may sound, I'm kinda falling for adult Mitch. There aren't many hairstyles I have that stay true to his original hair color, but I also think it was time for a change. Anyways...
I was on vacation this past week and as we were driving home my fam was listening to "4:12" by Switchfoot and a line caught my attention that says, "The darkness had no choice before the dawn." Although the song is playful and fun, that line made me think about the phrase more seriously. I think that if you truly love someone, you don't have a choice. You always stand and fight for love. You never consider the choice to stop. So that's where the title for part 12 came from, no choice before love. I get asked a lot if this story happened to me and although it did not in any way, Rosalie is a lot of me. I think that happens a lot with authors.
That's all from me for now...it's late here in the midwest. I'm going to keep at finishing Just One. Soon I'll be back in my last semester of college and student teaching is pretty much a time sucker so I'll probably be absent for a few months.
I love reading everything I get from others, it really means a lot to me. Thanks every single body.

Part 10

So...I'm pretty proud of this part. I made myself move outside my own box a little and pushed myself to get exactly what I wanted for a scene, no matter how much time and effort it took. I think it was worth it. I got across what I wanted to and even surprised myself with what came out. A word to the wise, effort is worth it. Effort is the key to everything.

Thanks to everyone that has taken the time to leave a comment on Just One, sent me a message or signed my guestbook. You have no idea how much it means to me! I really enjoy seeing others get into the story and characters as much as I do.

And I think I might have created a small uproar with this last part. No one wants Rosalie to leave Mitch and exclude him from her life and the baby's. I understand. But at the same time, I'm not writing a story with surface relationships and a 'happy' ending. Happy, after all, is a yuppie word. Instead, I'm trying to create something deeper. A story that leaves something to be desired within. It can be so simple, yet so painful: love. And I'm not just talking about romantic love here. Please know there is so much more to life than romantic love. But "The Things Unsaid" title means alot. I didn't put everything out in the open in part ten. Rosalie's doing what she's doing for a reason. It will become clearer later. Anyways, I'm not so sure now that it will only be 12 parts like I said before. As I was writing it out last night, I realized that there's alot more left to go.

Music, Music, Music

So I stayed up pretty late last night to work on capturing footage for part 10. I'm not going to lie, I've got some great music for this part and I'm pretty excited about it. I never usually pick a song that I really, really love because I don't want to ruin it for myself because while editing, I hear it over and over again and I get sick of it, but other times I just hear a song for the first time and I just know that it has to be included. In past parts I've taken songs that I've gotten for free (not illegaly) from bands I've never heard of and put them in. Usually this ends up in me liking and memorizing that song, something I probably wouldn't have done before. This is especially true with the song Communicate with Jonezetta. I couldn't really stand that song at first, but it fit the scene in part seven so I used it and after hearing it again and again it grew on me. Jonezetta is actually a pretty awesome band I've found out. They have a pretty killer song called "Get Ready (Hot Machete)", which is kind of a weird song but the sound totally rocks. I've become pretty addicted to www.Last.fm because I've found so many new bands through it. Two, in fact, that I used for part 10. I've gotten a few requests for sharing what kind of music I like (which thrills me) so here are some bands you should check out if you haven't already:

1. Brooke Waggoner (She is amazing. No doubt about it. You can even download her EP for free on her myspace. Do it. You won't be disappointed.)
2. Holly Brook
3. Copeland
4. Mae
5. High Flight Society
6. The Classic Crime
7. Relient K
8. Lovedrug
9. Reeve Oliver (Saw them live. They're fantastic)
10. Athlete (Also saw these guys live recently. They have a great sound)
11. Molly Jenson
12. Death Cab for Cutie
13. The Fold
14. Ryan Ferguson
15. Jon Foreman (Eh, I could write a whole blog or two on this one. I'll save you for now. His EPs are kind of indescribable in that incredible way. He's an amazing guy. Defintely check out Fall, Winter, Spring and Summer.)
16. Anberlin

There are so many more, but I'll stop for now. I'd love (seriously love) to hear what you thought if you checked out any of these musicans. Oh and I love to get recommendations. I'm always up for something new.

Well, part 10 is getting closer and closer to being done. Bye for now.

Long time no blog

I haven't updated this blog in a while, but now that I've got a website together, I'll defintely make more of an effort. I'll be working on Just One 10 the next couple days and hope to have it completed pretty soon. I've written out the last scene for this part and I want it to come across the way I envisioned it so I'm probably going to be pretty picky. I'm thinking Just One will come to be 12 parts, but don't hold me to that. And once it's done, it will be done. I'm not planning on doing a spin off or another season or anything like that.

Part 10 is titled "The Things Unsaid" and that has a lot of weight with what this episode is about. Everything isn't going to be flat out said from the characters. Instead things will need to be inferred.

Thanks for all the nice comments I've been receiving about the series. It means alot to me. :)